Are you wondering what this article is going to be about? Am I about to serve you some badass, jaw-dropping, spicy, intriguing, compelling (if you are following this hype, you already know I’m tripping LOL) pictures?
Or maybe, I’m about to show you all MY LEGWORK! The legwork all other legworks want to be like even Naira Marley’s (yes I said it). However, the flipside to this is that my ancestors have a strict rule of not embarrassing them, so we will have to live to see another day of me dancing up to my brag.
I’m actually not sure about the connection of the title with the post but we should just get into this post already.
I was watching a movie (The Tall Girl) the other day and just as the name of the movie implies it was about a 6.9ft tall teenager trying to survive bullying in High School because of her unusual height. A little digression, someone said why bullying is so deep in high schools abroad is because they do not have biology notes to copy and it hilariously made sense. Alright, she was constantly bullied, and for all the reasons she wanted to be “normal” she spent time researching surgical solutions that could make her short. Until she eventually got the morale to stand up for her, accepting that she couldn’t be “normal” which was okay and being confident with that fact.
The whole essence of the movie struck me, or I didn’t know that it did until I personally had an epiphany.
For the longest time, I wasn’t a fan of my voice (oh yea, you read right) I thought it was too masculine for a lady. I do not sound like the “standard” feminine voice (I’m not sure I’m making sense) but you probably get the gist. So, that narrative sort of became an “insecurity” so to speak where I would prefer texting to calls (this wore off at some point though) I remember when I meet new people online, it would take me a long time to speak to them and when I had even summoned the courage to speak, I would warn them beforehand that my voice is masculine bla bla (Ahhh I actually just gave myself unnecessary stress sha) I wasn’t comfortable sending voice notes, make videos or probably be in people’s videos, that whole shebang. However, I have met quite a number of people trying to understand what the whole “not liking my voice” was all about because they didn’t see anything to it, But the funny thing is that, the human mind doesn’t work that way, until there is a feeling of self-acceptance, it doesn’t really matter what the next person thinks, just like the “Tall Girl” who had close friends and family constantly telling her she was just as normal as every other teenager but a big mental change doesn’t happen unless there is a self-acceptance…… Ermmm I think I lost the direction of this post.
We should just go with the flow, right? (Okay I have got it)
It takes self-acceptance for your community/circle to also move with this change, did I mention that the “Tall Girl” stopped being bullied the moment she became confident? Not like I was bullied, but I have gotten comments like “oh you sound like a guy, your voice is truly thick” so now, me accepting that my voice doesn’t fit the narrative of “feminine” which I’m now totally okay with, I’m not withdrawing to my shell of not sending those voice notes because you know what? Miss me with that B.S. I intentionally now send voice notes to those people. And at first its “odd” to them as usual but I have sent 5 more voice notes and they are starting to take it as “okay there’s nothing there, that’s just Ayo’s voice, cool” boom they move with the change. So that saying of “THE WAY YOU SERVE YOURSELF IS HOW YOU ARE RECEIVED” really hits hard.
Most of us got something we are not really comfortable about. Maybe it’s that bad skin, or your big, long nose, or it’s the spots on your body, that big stomach that has refused to come down (you didn’t kill anyone relax) a range of all other things deep down you wish you could change. The minute you accept and be confident about it, the world would fix itself. The way you carry yourself is how you would be taken. Hence, if you don’t give them, how will they take it? (Wow, Ayo you really found a way to connect the topic)
So dears, no rush, take your time, accept your (I wouldn’t want to call it flaws) rather your uniqueness, flaunt away, cut out those self-demeaning (maybe not as deep as it seems) thoughts. Give it to them hot; let them worry about the spice.
Let me know what you think about this post in the comment section. I mean you guys, come on, let’s interact, share those comments and most importantly share this article (there is a share icon just below)
Xoxo till next post, stay sweet