I was on twitter the other day and I saw a tweet “virginity is just a myth”. I kind of had mixed feelings about it, I starred at that tweet for a while; even after I was off twitter the thoughts of that tweet kept coming back, I wrote it down in my notes so I could ask people’s opinion on that statement. I asked my girlfriends what they thought but, we really didn’t dive deep into it, we laughed for the most part of it.
After a few days, I was having my shower (even if it’s with bucket and bowl, shower is shower Lol), this same thought was back and as usual I had a full conversation in my head. I decided to take a mini survey on the guys especially (because the idea of “virginity” is more affiliated with the females), on what they thought about this statement, and I sent a number of them this question “do you mind getting married to a virgin or you really do not mind if she isn’t”, and a reasonable amount of them responded and a few gave comments such as:
- Virginity is overrated
- Good character beats virginity
- As long as she’s loyal and mine from marriage onwards
- A virgin will most likely be a semi prude at the end of it all, I’m too adventurous for that… LOL
- No one cares about who is a virgin or not, what matters is love
- As far as she’s Godly, I don’t mind
- Virgin bawo, where do we start from?
- I don’t mind if she isn’t as long as she’s decent
Yeah, majority of them didn’t mind, just a single person said he would actually love to marry a virgin. Also, only one guy replied saying “I don’t mind getting married to a virgin and also do not mind if she isn’t”. After seeing this reply, I noticed every other person just didn’t mind if she wasn’t but, they didn’t mention if they would also not mind if she was a virgin. But you know, we would just move on.
What do I think?
Alright, I know you’re already asking yourself “is she one?”. Yeah, I am a virgin, okay so we would just leave that hanging there for a moment. Do I think virginity makes you the worthiest woman, a better version of your gender? Does it guarantee happiness when you eventually get married? I’m not too sure of that. However, I think the decision on whether you want to keep yourself or not is dependent on YOU ALONE. Not because the society says so, not because your partner says so, not because these guys don’t mind and absolutely not because the internet says so. It is absolutely because you say so. As crazy as people may think your personal beliefs, values and reasons that surrounds your decision might be, you cannot and you shouldn’t get intimated or guilt tripped. You should do it because you want to, and you are comfortable
For me yeah, Sex is a deep thing. I don’t take it as “it is just sex”, Nah. I perceive it as more than just a penetration, it is a deeper level of connection with whoever it is I have decided to do it with; it really isn’t a wedding night compulsion. This is my decision and one of my personal values I hold strongly.
I have heard comments passed by a guy saying “guys really don’t even want to have sex with a virgin, it’s just hard and too much stress”. LOL bullocks. I’m too sure there’s that guy who with all the love in the world, would be willing to do it and not find it has stress. I mean it would have to take a guy to do it initially before she becomes “experienced”.
Here are some myths and their truth
- You get ‘disvirgned’ when your hymen is broken; The state of your hymen is not completely related to whether you are a virgin or not. Some women’s hymens break during puberty, others don’t break until the woman gives birth to her first child
- The first time is always painful, if you are a girl; This is not a universal experience with all girls. It can but not always
- Using protection ruins sex; Safer sex is actually sexier sex because it shows that your partner cares about you enough to protect you and you don’t have to worry about pregnancy or STIs
- A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex; Sex can be enjoyable without orgasm always being the goal. A lot of women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even without having orgasms and the sex could be considered success
If you’ve read it to this point, the month is about to get all kinds of ASSURANCE for you.
IS VIRGINITY A MYTH? What do you think? Massive comments are welcomed. Lots of Love…MUWAH